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I invited the youth to write down all the things they could think of that were good. I told them to keep writing, not to lift up their pens, and to list as many things—big and small—that felt good to them. Once we finished sharing, I asked one question: Did anyone include themselves on the list? I met their eyes and saw surprise and many heads shaking. Not one had added their name to their list of good things.

When I met Mark, his first marriage had failed, as had mine, but his love and commitment toward his young daughter, Kristen, were unshakable. When we married, she became a full-fledged member of our new family, and I became a stepmother.

The time and increasing closeness Kristen and I shared brought me immense joy. Even so, I often felt insecure as she came and went on a schedule beyond my control, always returning to the care of a woman whose claim and closeness far outweighed my own.

One of my favorite Sunday school songs is “Zacchaeus Was a Wee Little Man” (“And a wee little man was he”). I love teaching the actions to kids and watching them light up at the seeming silliness of the story—from pretending to climb the tree to peering down at Jesus as Zacchaeus to looking up at Zacchaeus as Jesus.